Thursday, July 5, 2012

Udder candy fail

By now I've had a few types of Finnish candy. Usually these involve emergency purchases from the vending machines in the mess halls at work after particularly long days. They are always fruity, gummy, and somehow involve salmiakki. Again, welcome to Finland.

So when I was at the grocery store this past weekend, I decided to preempt my sugar drop and actually buy candy at an appropriate place - the candy aisle.

As I looked around the different varieties, I recognized ones I had bought from the vending machine and stared horrifically at others I had yet (and will maybe never) explore. Some were clear salmiakki varieties (which I am still not brave enough to buy in bulk), some chocolate of various kinds, and others are as-yet unidentifiable. My goal was to get something I would actually eat. So, gummy, fruity, and hopefully sour.

So when I stumbled upon these babies, I thought I had won the jackpot:


It even says "Sour and fruity" on the package! What more could I ask for?

So I grabbed the package, bought it, and left the store.

It was only a few days later, when I opened the package, that I realized my mistake.

On first inspection, things looked pretty alright. I mean, it was kind of a hilarious concept for a candy - fruity, sour cow udders, but whatever, there were stranger things out there I'm pretty sure.


One thing that didn't occur to me until later though was...why were they two-tone, and what could the flavor of the dark color possibly be?

Boy was I in for a surprise. And not in the good way.

As I popped the first one into my mouth and began to chew, a sneakingly familiar flavor started to flood my mouth...

Oh. Damnit.....

Salmiakki.

Those bastards!

I turned the package around:


Sh*t...should really have checked the package before I bought it...half of the flavors are half-salmiakki! Oh god...I am totally not Finnish enough for this.

Even though the other halves of the candies were something delicious (fruit of some kind), it wasn't enough to salvage the entire unit. The oddly crumbly gummy texture didn't help either (this is totally unlike the gummies I have been buying, which have been amazingly fresh and just the perfect gummy consistency).

Such a disappointment, especially after all of the successful fruity gummies I'd been buying from the vending machines so far! Who would have thought?

Just goes to show, you never can tell what you're gonna get, until you try it.

Hopefully my next candy purchase from a grocery store will be more successful. The lesson has been deeply learned though: next time I will definitely read the package.

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