Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Hesburger's Arizona -ateria

So I finally figured out what "-ateria" means: it's just a very odd abbreviation for "hampurlainen," which means hamburger. Not sure how "hampurlainen" goes to "-ateria" in abbreviations, but however it does, it does.

After a full day of shopping for pants that fit (there will be another full blog post about that sometime this week), I decided to reward myself with the burger that I'd been coveting for the past week or so: the Hesburger Arizona -ateria.

Glorious in its poster ad with two beef patties, what looked like onion rings and chipotle mayo, I knew it would probably be a winner. All of the special advertised burgers I'd had from Hesburger had been (read: Nacho Grande), so I might as well try it. Especially because it had onion rings (note to reader: I absolutely love onion rings...debatably more than fries).

So on my way home from shopping, I stopped by my local Hesburger (not the one below the bus station) and picked up this sammich of glory. I even picked up the "value" meal, because after ordering a small fries with it, my small Fanta was only 45euro cents more, and that totally seemed worth it (think of it this way: that's 10% of a McChicken here...yeah, ouch O_O).

Since I took it home with me instead of eating it in the restaurant, the girl behind the counter gave me some extra goodies I may not have otherwise received. This equals a strange Finnish package of ketchup, little packets of salt and pepper, and something I had never seen before:


Something called, "grillimauste" sprinkle. I could tell before opening the package that it was some sort of spice sprinkle, but I wasn't sure what it was for. Generally speaking they enjoy this word, "grilli," but it's overused - they have it on things like sausages/hotdogs (which are relatively the same thing in this country, just one is bigger than the other) in the context of "Grillimaster" etc. So it's never been made clear to me what it actually means, just that it connotes bbq of some kind. Or grilled flavor, I guess, more generally speaking.

So I opened it up and decided to sprinkle it on my fries:


I figured it couldn't hurt. Especially since the fries were under salted this time and I didn't have British A to yell at me. :)

It was good, though not what I was expecting. It actually didn't add that much flavor on its own, and had almost no salt in it at all (if any, maybe). It tasted like a lite version of that delicious fake powdered cheese you sprinkle on popcorn nowadays. With maybe a little ramen powder thrown in. Just a little. Overall: not bad. Would definitely sprinkle it on my fries again, if only for the visual effect.

And then for the main event: the Arizona -ateria. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. Boy oh boy!


Gorgeous. I dunno what they pay these Hesburger employees, but it's clearly more than the McDonalds employees. That or they just care more about quality construction. Something. Just look at how well-made that is! I actually slid the top bun a little so you could see what was inside - it wasn't like that when I unwrapped it. Beautiful!

And the first bite? Yeah, just as amazing. It was everything I had expected and more:


Double onion rings, double meat patties, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and chipotle mayo. Exactly as it promised in the ad. I was in heaven for the next half an hour (yes, it actually does take me that long to eat a burger...that doesn't include eating the fries, which take me longer). I savored every single bite of that glorious sammich and I sighed with satisfaction at having found another favorite amongst the Hesburger menu. Unfortunately probably another seasonable catch, but still, glad to have found it and enjoyed it.

But then something terrible happened. Something unexpected. Something...wrong.

I was chewing on my last bit of fries and downing my last gulps of Fanta when I felt something weird get stuck in my molars. Felt like something was wedged between my teeth. I continued to chew and finish my meal, but when I was finished I went to the bathroom and flossed, since it was a bit uncomfortable.

And...

Something weird came out. Something hard, something, unnatural.

I felt around my mouth with my tongue.

Oh. My. God.

Part of my tooth had chipped off somewhere along the eating process. And now I was holding that little bit of tooth in my hands.

To be continued in the next blog entry...

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